Fashion Confusion

photo grabbed from http://www.urbandevelopment.co.uk

Warning: This is a post of a confused person so read at your own risk!

While in church yesterday, I noticed that I am so PLAIN and BASIC.  Now that I am writing this blog, I am asking myself: What’s so bad about being simple? But while I was in the church…I feel so… old, outdated and sluggish…

My Fashion Mentors

I spent my childhood years with my grandparents and my aunt; my teen years with my mom.  I grew up with “old” pragmatic people.  They spent their money on what they think is valuable and being in fashion was never a necessity. I can clearly recall my grandfather, who always wore old tattered sandos and shirts at home.

I, personally cannot recall being updated.  I always wear the basic shirt, shorts or skirt.  No bright trimmings, no glitters, no cute cuts, I never followed the color of the year.  But hey! I can remember my very fashionable underwear with ruffles at the back! So 80’s kid’s fashion!

Since I was always in uniform, this “internal” issue was felt only during Christmas parties where everybody’s wearing the newest and the shiniest.

“Psychologizing” myself…

Analyzing myself now  (Yes, I am trying to apply my psych 101 here…so bear with me.), I realized that

I am tainted with subliminal insecurity because of this “no fashion sense” root of mine.

UP College is difficult due to the academic requirements but it was more difficult for me because of the “no uniform” culture.  I had to think of what to wear everyday.   I also avoided extra curricular activities during weekends because I needed to do the laundry and I was always thinking I might run out of clothes.

Hence, I became indifferent.  I proudly tagged myself as the non-conformist. 

Imagine me during parties and occasions: I don’t have a dress or anything exciting to mix ‘n match. All I have were basic black, brown, white and gray!  With the stress and difficulty of thinking what to wear, I learned to hate parties and events.

Therefore, parties and occasions for me are man-made venues to waste money.  I avoided them as efficiently as I could.  I never really enjoyed them because honestly, I never bought anything that is “so into the occasion”. I always bought something that I can also use outside the party.

I am a very observant person… I always observe the spending of friends and acquaintances when it comes to buying clothes, shoes and accessories.   It is included in their monthly budget, of course, I never did.

I buy clothes (when I see something that will comfortably fit me) when they’re on sale.  Being able to work in retail companies,  I believe I was able to brainwash myself (on purpose) not to buy things at a regular price.  

Conclusion: I am always “so last season”!

The way I dress brought me in an awkward confused position. My pragmatic upbringing is always telling me that keeping up with fashion is synonymous to materialism and undue expenses. While my cultural and social environment is continuously encouraging me that having an updated style and an expensive taste will draw admiration and respect.

At the End of the Day…

Confused as I may be… I get to go back to my senses at the end of the day. Good thing I need to sleep. Before I close my eyes, seeing my daughter and my partner alive and healthy, and me in my always so comfortable sleepwear, I can honestly say that I don’t need to be in fashion to be happy.

I just hope that as I go on with my life, I can keep the thought every time I wake up and be able to resist the temptations presented by fashion companies, tv, magazines and my other confused personality.